Musings

ROI: Fun with numbers

Commenting on Tip On Getting The Best Return On Home Improvements. For some reason this just tickles my funny bone.*
Let’s say I decide to sell (it’s not time yet… but this is all hypothetical). Tip #1 here says:

1. Clean / de-clutter – 973% Average Return on Investment: Remove clutter by storing items in basement, attic or friend’s home. Rent a storage space or sell excess items, if needed. Keep every room very clean during open homes. Do pre-open house cleanliness inspections.

Wow. 973% return. That just begs for a closer examination.


Let’s say I decide to rent a storage space. Frankly I have no idea how much that costs. Let’s say it costs $10.
Cost: $10
Estimated Return: $9730
That’s extra cool! I could do with an extra $10K after closing.
Let’s say instead that I decide to stash all my stuff in the crawlspace. Not a bad plan as long as I empty it out before the home inspection.
Cost: $0
Estimated Return: $0
Hrrm. Not as exciting as the almost-$10K above.
Ok, I know. I’ll sell it all on Craigslist and Ebay. I have no idea how much my clutter is worth. Let’s pretend I have a teeny weeny little bit of clutter (yeah, right)(I said it was a hypothetical *sheesh*).
Cost: – $10 ( I sold it.. so I earned $10. Negative cost).
Estimated Return: – $9370
Ok. Well that sucks.
Obviously the correct answer is to get the biggest storage unit possible for the longest amount of time possible.. and to pay for a maid service… and a dog groomer. I’m pretty certain that with nearly 1000% return I can double my house value in no time. 🙂
* I wish to state clearly that clutter clearing and general cleaning are great low-cost ways to improve the selling price of your house. Please don’t allow my levity to convince you otherwise. I also wish to state that I don’t care what any silly article has to say.. the replacement of the front door was -so- worth it. Yes, I’m still giddy about it.

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1 thought on “ROI: Fun with numbers

  1. Yes, this sort of logic is along the same lines as “The more you spend, the more you save”
    Where the heck did they come up with 973% any way? Why not just say 1000% and then there will be no doubt that it is nothing but meaningless hyperbole.

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